


Screw the future

by Katieb161



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Eventual Smut, Marriage, Not Actually Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-19
Updated: 2018-08-29
Packaged: 2019-05-08 23:55:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14705189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katieb161/pseuds/Katieb161
Summary: Iris is set to marry Eddie, but will her feelings for Barry get in the way?Set after Eddie is rescued from Thawne in season 1





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Seeker45](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seeker45/gifts).



> This story is based on the a suggestion left by Seeker45. I for the most part will follow the shows canon if I can. For the sake of the story however, at the end of season one Eddie did not die and there was no singularity. I also am trying something different by writing this in Iris' first person POV.

I glanced down at my finger while we were driving home. It had been a crazy few days. Eddie was found safe in the basement at S.T.A.R. labs, pretty shaken up, but not hurt. I was relieved when they found him. I would have never forgiven myself if something had happened to him. I know it wasn't my fault, but I felt guilty by my association to danger.

I wasn't mad at Barry for being the Flash. I was upset that he kept that from me. Actually, I was upset that he kept a lot of things from me. Like being in love with me all his life. He left after making his confession and I was in daze for the rest of the evening. I kept thinking back to all those Christmas' and birthdays and nights we stayed up talking. I wonder how I missed the signs. I wonder if things would be different if he told me sooner.

I looked over at Eddie. He had his head pressed against the window with his eyes closed. I couldn't imagine what he was feeling. Eobard had basically told him that he was nothing and a loser. Maybe not in those words, but still. He told him that he wouldn't even get the girl. How could he know that? How could I marry Barry when I love Eddie?  
When I found the ring, I knew he meant to give it to me the night he was taken. He was so convinced that I would be with Barry instead that he completely gave up on me. I am happy that he sees it my way, screw the future right?

The apartment felt cold and empty to me while Eddie was missing. Now that he is back, it already feels lighter. I turned to Eddie, "Do you want anything to eat or some sleep?"

"Sleep would be good," he answered. His eyes looked weary, I know he had a lot on his mind, but he already explained in the car ride that he needed time to process it. He took a shower and got in bed.

I cuddled up next to him and listened to his breath sounds get shallow. Once I knew he was asleep, I quietly crept out of bed and into the living room. I pulled out my phone and looked at the contact. Barry had an opportunity to go back and save his mother and didn't. I can only imagine how he is feeling. Eddie was asleep, he didn't need me right now, Barry did.

I sent Barry a quick text to meet me at our spot and got up to get dressed. I felt like a teenager all over again, sneaking out the house. I just didn't know how Eddie would take it if he knew who I was sneaking out to see. I made it to the rooftop before he did. About 10 minutes after I arrived I felt electricity in the air. I knew he was there.

"Iris," he called out to me. I could hear the pain in his voice. I turned around to see Barry in his flash suit. However unnecessary it was to meet me in it, it was quite ironic. He was still wearing the mask with me, even when I could see through it.

"Barry..I..I just wanted to make sure you were okay. Are you? Ok?"

"Well, I had a chance to save my mom and I didn't."

"I know, and I know it was a hard choice." I moved closer to him. I wanted him to be able to look into my eyes and I into his.

"I'm not sure I made the right one." I could see his eyes getting wet. I grabbed him into a hug, rubbing circles on his back.

"Barry, you did what you thought was right. You can't fault yourself for that." I broke the hug and looked into his eyes again. "Remember, you are still a hero. Nobody can take that away from you. And I will always believe in you."

Barry pulled me in for another hug. "Thank you Iris. I couldn't do this without you."

"And you'll never have to. I will always be here for you Barry, you're my best friend." And there it was. This man was in love with me, and I put him right into the friend-zone. I mean, I'm with Eddie. I am going to marry Eddie. I know it will be hard for Barry, but eventually he would just have to accept it.

He looked at me with sad eyes, "You're mine too." He was gone in an instant.

Eddie was still asleep when I got home. I took my clothes off and slipped back into bed, hoping I wouldn't wake him. That night my thoughts were of Barry as drifted off the sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry its been a while for this story, I have been focusing on my sports AU, which I hope to have the latest installment finished soon, having some writers block on that one. I did have an idea for this story, so here is an update, I have no clue how long this will be, maybe 4-5 chapters, anyways enjoy! xx

Weeks had passed since I spoke to Barry on the Jitters rooftop. The city had been fairly quiet. There weren't many reports of meta human sightings, mostly the flash was ripping around the city stopping minor crimes and rescuing people from fires and such. My mind however was occupied with something much different.

Eddie and I were planning a wedding. It should have been one of the most exciting times in my life. So why did I feel like that was a rock sitting in the pit of my stomach. Eddie was being very hands on with the planning. He was so happy that I chose him. Every morning when we woke up, he would kiss me tenderly and call me the future Mrs. Thawne. Even that didn't sound right. I would always plaster a smile on my face and nod. I really didn't know how to respond.

One morning at Jitters as I was waiting in line for my daily caffeine fix, when Barry walked in. He still had that sad look in his eyes. I wasn't sure if he was still reeling from not running back in time, or if it was something else.

"Hey Barr!"

"Iris," he answered with none of the usual enthusiasm that he normally had when he spoke my name.

"You okay Barr?"

"Yeah- yeah, I'm good."

"We haven't hung out in a while, I miss you," I told him, hoping to get a least a small smile out of him. He didn't waiver from his original disposition.

"Yeah, it's been a while. I've just been busy with work and S.T.A.R. Labs and stuff."

"Are you sure you're okay?" Just as I asked, Eddie walked in. He came over and kissed me on the lips. I could tell that Barry was uncomfortable. He looked down to the ground, crestfallen. Before I was able to say anything more, He looked up and began, "Well, I am late for work, I guess I will see you guys around," and with that, he was gone.

"What's up with Allen?" Eddie asked.

"I dunno." But I did know. That was the same look he had given me when he found out that Eddie and I were dating, right after he woke up from his coma. I know I made the choice to be with Eddie. I love him. We are getting married. But I also know that part of my heart belonged to someone else.

The rest of my day was fairly routine. Eddie was working late, so I was at our apartment, by myself, working on my current story on the contaminated water supply. My phone started blowing up. Apparently there was a mete human sighting downtown. This meta seemed to be a speedster as well. I wasn't too concerned, I knew Barry could handle it. Even still, I decided that I would go to S.T.A.R. Labs in case they needed any help. I couldn't have been more wrong.

When I got to the lab, Caitlin and Cisco were in the med bay in a panic. When I finally rounded the corner, I saw Barry, lying on a stretcher, his cowl was torn and he wasn't moving.

"What happened? What's wrong with Barry?" No one would answer me. I moved closer to Barry and saw that there was blood everywhere. I could barely stop the tears once they started, "Oh Barry, what happened to you?" I started closer towards him. Before I could reach out and touch him, Caitlin pushed me out of the way.

"Iris, I'm sorry, I need to get to Barry." By that point, everything became a blur, I couldn't tell you what she was doing to him. I heard a bunch of medical terms that I didn't understand. Cisco tried to walk me into the cortex so that I wouldn't see what was going on, but I wouldn't leave. I couldn't leave Barry like that.

Things were like that for a few minutes before I made out Caitlin saying something about Barry not healing. That couldn't be right, he had to heal, he had to get better. I couldn't lose my Barry, not like this. I don't know if I still had the right to call him my Barry, but in that moment, he was the only thing that I even cared about.

I went to him, on the opposite side from where Caitlin was working on him and took his hand. "Come on Barr, " I whispered to him, "You have to heal, you have to make it, I need you...I love you...please." At that, he slowly opened his eyes, enough to look at me and then he was out again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, feel free to leave any comments or suggestions on my tumblr @katieb161...thanks!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the short chapters. Thanks for reading xx

I stayed by Barry's side all night. I fell asleep in the chair next to his bed. The sound of Caitlin checking his vitals woke me up.

"How is he doing?"

"He's not out of the woods yet, but the worst is over. An analysis of his blood indicated that he was injected with something that slowed his healing."

"But he's going to be okay?"

"Yeah."

I breathed a sigh of relief. I don't know what I would do without my Barry. "Thanks Caitlin."

Caitlin smiled and left the room. I checked my phone. It was 2 in the morning. I had about 50 missed calls and texts from Eddie. I hadn't even let him know where I was, he was probably worried sick. I started to call him when he flew into the room.

"Iris, what the hell?"

"I'm so sorry babe, Barry got hurt, there was a lot going on and I fell asleep."

"Is he okay?'

"He will be." I got up and walked over to Eddie to give him a hug. As soon as his arms were around me, the tears started. "I was so scared. I thought...I thought he was going to die."

"It's okay Iris, I'm here now."

For some reason, that didn't make me feel any better. I just went through something traumatic, and being in the arms of the man I was going to marry, the man that I love, I should feel comfort. But all I want is for Barry to wake up and take me into his arms. Tell me that he is okay, and that he will never leave me.

I was broken out of my train of thought by Eddie's voice, "Come on, let me take you home, get you in bed."

"I'm not leaving."

"Iris, you need to rest. And Barry will be okay, you said so yourself. Let me get you home and take care of you."

"Eddie, I said I'm not leaving Barry. Go home. I will call you later." I could tell that he was unhappy. At that moment though, I didn't care. I was going to be here for Barry when he woke up, and Eddie would just have to understand that.

"Right, okay, " and he kissed me tentatively on the cheek, "I guess I will talk to you later." And then he was gone.

I walked back over to Barry. He looked so peaceful. I moved his hair out of his face and leaned down to press a kiss on his forehead. Even though he was passed out, a small smile crept on his face, which in turn made me smile. I sat back down in the chair next to him and scooted it closer to him. I held his hand in mine. It fit perfectly.

As I sat there watching him sleep, I couldn't help but wonder if I had made a mistake. I wanted to make my own choices, not let someone or some newspaper make it for me. But I couldn't fool myself anymore. I was in love with Barry Allen.


	4. Chapter 4

I woke up the next morning still in the chair. I looked over to Barry and he was staring at me. "Hi," I whispered.

"Hey."

We looked into each others eyes and I grabbed his hand. "I was worried about you."

"I'm sorry Iris."

"S'okay...are you feeling okay?"

"Yeah, I am all healed up, a little sore. I'm not sure what happened. One minute I am in this intense fight with another speedster, next thing I know, I am at S.T.A.R. Labs."

"Caitlin said you were injected with something. This speedster, it wasn't Thawne was it?" I asked, scared at what the answer may be.

"No, definitely not. I'm not sure who this was, but Iris, he has me worried."

"Well, you've got the best in Caitlin, Cisco and my dad. And you know that I will be here too. We'll get this guy Barr."

He smiled at me and it sent butterflies to my stomach. I didn't want to leave, but I did have to get to work, and Barry seemed to be okay. "Okay, well I have to get to work. Call me later?"

"Of course." He pulled me into a hug, "Thank you Iris. I couldn't do this without you."

This wasn't the first time he had said this to me. I was starting to understand more and more that I didn't want him to do this without me. I pulled out of the hug, still holding on to him and gazed into his green eyes. They say the eyes are the windows to the soul. In that moment, I believed it.

Something came over me, I had to know what his lips felt like against mine. I leaned in and closed my eyes, softly pressing my lips against his. It was chaste at first. Mostly because I was a bit unsure and I didn't know how Barry would react. It didn't take long for him to realize what I was doing. He kissed back with a bit of enthusiasm as I licked his lips open and invited his tongue into my mouth. He grabbed my face and pulled me closer to him. It was just tongue and teeth for a few minutes when he finally pulled away. I chased him wanting to feel his lips on mine again. When I finally realized that he wasn't close enough anymore, I opened my eyes.

We looked at each other, neither of us knowing what to say. I reluctantly backed away, starting towards the door. "I gotta go, but I'll talk to you later, yeah?"

"Yeah, see ya later Iris." I heard Barry say as I was leaving the room. I had just enough time to run home and freshen up before work. As I was driving through the streets, I could only think about the kiss I just shared with my best friend, how much I liked it and how I wanted to do it again. It wasn't until I pulled up to the apartment did I even remember Eddie, and I prayed that he wasn't home when I walked through the door.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know we don't see Linda again until the middle of season 2 but for the sake of this story, her and Iris are already good friends.

Sitting at CCPN listening to Linda going on and on about something sports related had me zoned out. All day, I was thinking about Barry and how much I missed him. We had texted each other throughout the day like always, but it seemed....different.

"Iris...Hello Iris, are you listening to me?" Linda asked me, a bit annoyed.

"I think I need to break up with Eddie," It just came out. I didn't mean for it to.

"Well, duh," Linda responded. I looked at her funny and she continued, "Look, Eddie is a nice guy and all but we both know who you really want to be with."

"Is it that obvious?"

"Iris, I knew you and Barry were meant to be the night we went bowling, and if I can be honest, I think Eddie knew too. You would be doing both of you a favor if you let him go."

"You're right Lin. I'm going to talk to him tonight."

Later that evening, I sat on the sofa waiting for Eddie to come home. I felt terrible that I was about to break his heart, but I would have felt even worse marrying him knowing I was in love with someone else.

When I heard the keys jingling in the door, I started to get a little bit nervous. Eddie walked in looking tired and sad, almost like he knew what was coming. "Hey babe," I said to him enthusiastically, hoping to get him in a better mood before I broke his heart.

"Iris, we need to talk."

"Yeah we do."

"Iris, you know that I love you, a lot."

"I know."

"And I hoped that you loved me just as much. But I can't fool myself anymore."

"Eddie I-"

"Wait, just let me finish," he took a deep breath, "I knew that you had a close bond with Barry and a part of me hoped that when he woke up, it would make you happy again, and it did. But then I realized that maybe the bond that you two have is deeper than I thought it was. I know you love each other, I see it every time you are together. And it hurts Iris, it really hurts."

I started to get a little misty eyed. I never wanted to hurt Eddie, but I couldn't help what me and Barry felt for each other. He continued, "I want you to be happy Iris, but I feel like it won't be with me," another deep breath, "So I am letting you go. As much as it hurts me to, I think it is for the best that we break up."

I was a bit shocked. It's almost like he knew I was going to do it first. A part of me was relieved that I didn't have to be the one to say those words. "I'm sorry Eddie, " I told him, "I really do love you, those feeling were real. But you are right, what I have with Barry, it's escaped definition."

I looked up to see him crying. After a long silence between us I finally said, "I am going to stay at my dad's tonight. I will come get my stuff tomorrow. Eddie, again, I really am sorry." I took the engagement ring off my finger and sat it on the table. We looked at each other one last time and I walked out of his door. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I had Eddie do the dumping, wanted to switch it up because in all the stories I read Iris is always the one to break up with him.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is smut in this chapter, more graphic than i usually write. Enjoy XX

I left the apartment and went to find Barry right away. I couldn't go another minute without talking to him, telling him how I really felt. He texted me that he was at home, so I made my way over to my dad's house. When I got there, Barry was by himself, sitting on the sofa.

"Hey," I said to him as I walked into the house and sat down next to him, "How are you feeling?"

"Better, the soreness went away, so I am back to normal."

"That's good." Another long silence. I had been thinking about what I was going to say to him all day, and now that I am in his presence, nothing.

"Iris we need to talk about-"

"Me and Eddie broke up," I interrupted him. The way he looked at me when I said that, it was like so hopeful.

"You did?"

"Yeah, we did. Look, I don't know what this is between us, but I know for a fact that I love you. I know that it took a while for me to come to terms with it, but I do, it's real, I'm in love with you."

The look in Barry's eyes went from hopeful to passion the moment I said I was in love with him. "I love you too Iris, I always have and I always will. I don't know what this is between us either, but I know I want you, no I NEED you in my life in any capacity."

I moved closer to him and grabbed his hand. We looked into each other's eyes for a few seconds and time seemed to stop. He finally reached over and caressed my face. I leaned in and we kissed again. It was different from the kiss this morning, this one had something more behind it.

We kissed each other like it was the last time we ever would. Barry tasted so good, I was mad at myself for waiting so long for this. He started to take my jacket off as we were still connected at the mouth, rubbing his hands down my back once it was gone. The kisses started to get more lustful. I could feel a throbbing in my loins, he was really turning me on. I guess I was doing the same judging by the bulge in his pants.

I broke from the kiss to look in his eyes again. I didn't say anything, I just pulled him up from the sofa and led him upstairs to his bedroom. He didn't seem to try to stop me or question what I was doing, he just went with it. Once in his room, I shut the door behind us and pushed him onto the bed, straddling him. "Iris," he whispered. 

I leaned down to kiss him. He continued rubbing my back as I grinded against him. I stopped kissing him long enough to get my shirt off. I just had a plain black bra on, but Barry looked at me as if I was dressed in my sexiest number. I unhooked the bra and let it slide down my arms. His eyes got big once my breasts were exposed. He took one in each hand and kneaded them. He sat up and moved closer to the headboard so he could get a better view and close enough to put one of my nipples in his mouth. As he swirled his tongue around, they began to get hard. I moaned as he moved back and forth from one breast to another, placing wet kisses all over them.

I moved from my position enough that I could unbutton his pants. As soon as we got them off his rock hard penis came through the hole in his boxers. It was like it was looking at me, daring me to touch it, so I did. As soon as I tightened my grip around his shaft, Barry jerked a little, almost like he was surprised by my touch. I decided I liked the way he seemed unsure of this, so I upped the ante. I slowly leaned down and put my mouth around him. As soon as my tongue touched him he moaned again. I started flicking my tongue around the head of his penis while using my hands to form a vice like grip and began twisting in alternate motions.

The sloppier I sucked, the more moans I would elicit from him. The moaning was turning me on. Once I felt that he was sufficiently aroused. I leaned back so that I could get my pants off. Barry didn't give me the chance, he picked me up and rolled me underneath of him. "Let me, " he said in a tone I had never heard before. It was quite sexy and had me getting even more wet than I already was. He slid off my jeans and threw them on the floor. He started peppering kisses on me starting from the top of my neck, to my navel. He slowly pulled of my panties, letting his fingers glide down my thighs as he was removing them.

Once I was fully naked, he just stared at me for a moment. "You are so beautiful." He said it so sincerely that it almost embarrassed me. He placed a kiss on my lips again and then moved down my torso. He placed hot wet kisses on each of my inner thighs. His hands and lips felt so soft against my skin. I felt the swipe of his tongue on my opening followed by two fingers. He moved them in and out of me like he was on a mission. It felt so good. I thought it couldn't feel any better until his tongue hit my already swollen nub. I ran my fingers through his hair as he licked and nipped at me. I was already feeling close to the edge when he did something I have never felt before. With my clit in his mouth, he began to vibrate his tongue. Within a few seconds, I was cumming in his mouth, harder than I have ever cum before. "BARRY," I screamed out in ecstasy. Glad that my father wasn't home.

He pulled his fingers from out of me and put them in his mouth, savoring the juices that were dripping from them. "You taste good." he told me with a smirk on his face. I giggled a little bit and pulled his face to me so that I could taste me too. "Barry I need you." That was all of the permission he needed. He rolled over to his nightstand and opened the drawer, he pulled out a condom and used his speed to get it on. I giggled again at him.

He laid on top of me again and kissed me deeply. I widened my legs to give him enough access. He slowly opened my folds with the tip of his penis. When he finally pushed himself into me, we both moaned in unison. "Iris, you feel so good," he whispered in my ear. He started with small short strokes, almost like he was afraid that he was going to hurt me. I started to move my hips with him, hoping to get him to go harder, faster, deeper. He took the hint. He quickened his pace. All you could hear were our bodies slapping together. Sweat was pouring from Barry on to me, making us move with more vigor. He leaned down to kiss me as he was tearing up my walls, in a good way. I was on the verge of another orgasm when I felt his hand start to rub on my clit as he was still penetrating me. Once he started to vibrate his hand, I was a goner. I screamed his name again as the waves of pleasure were going through me. It wasn't long after that, that Barry succumbed to his pleasure as well. "I love you Iris," he screamed as he finished. A part of me wished he wasn't wearing a condom, because I wanted to feel his seed inside me.

He finally pulled out of me and tied of the condom, throwing it in the trash. He got comfortable in the bed again and pulled me close to him. I leaned up and kissed him. I couldn't believe that I had just had sex with Barry. What was even crazier to me was how mind blowing it was. We sure had a lot to talk about, but for now, I was content to be laying in the arms of the man that I loved. For the first time in my life, I was really looking forward to the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, sorry it took so long to get this one completed considering how short it is. Aside for my final sports AU story I currently don't really have any ideas for stories so feel free to comment suggestions or leave them on my tumblr @katieb161
> 
> xxx

**Author's Note:**

> I don't plan on this being nearly as long as my other works. I got inspired and had to get it down. Due to working on my other series, this story may not get updated as fast, so please be patient with me. Thanks xx


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